La Malinche

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I am a traitor.
I am La Malinche.
La Malinche is the indigenous one that, according to mythology, betrayed the people—her people—by becoming Cortés’ lover.
Today, to be malinchista is to adopt foreign values, to assimilate to another culture—to be a traitor to your culture is what it really means.
I am a traitor to my culture for being an English major.
Mónica Torres is also a traitor for being an English major. In her article, she discusses the complications of being a “colored” person in the world of dead old white guys. She also brings up the complications that the English language, particularly for her as an English major, bring up in the home setting.
We both know what it’s like to be the translator of the family, to be the one in charge when it comes to signing legal documents and even something as simple as ordering food at a restaurant.
It’s a necessity in this country. Part of the reason my parents and I came to the U.S. was for a better life. Some sacrifices had to be made, I think, and the sacrifice was my culture. I immersed myself in the English language as much as I could because I knew, even from a young age, that knowing the language would make me belong.
And the culmination of that thought is in its final year. I graduate in the spring, the first of my family to graduate from college, and with what? An English degree.
Language may not be the sole ingredient in a culture, but for many Latinos, retaining the Spanish language in this country is imperative. It’s what sets you apart from los gueros. Sure, there are Latino people that look Italian or Swedish or even Indian, but as long as the language is there, you are a part of the culture—for the most part.
However, there are those who , like Mónica and I, are stuck in a sort of cultural limbo, neither fully Latino nor fully American. We have to be able to make it in America, to achieve that American Dream that was implanted in our mentality growing up. We have to be able to do everything the white man can because we can. And English is a big part of achieving that in this country.
I suppose the emphasis on retaining Spanish is an effort, a political statement in a way, that we will not let another people change us. First it was the Spaniards that wiped out our people and many of the indigenous languages. A second eradication of our common language is not welcomed now. So we must resist, I guess.
But it’s a hard place to be in. You can be bi-lingual, master both languages and live in both worlds. But you can’t do one more than the other and survive, especially not the English one. This is not exactly the most ideal situation though, especially when you are trying to climb up every social and economic ladder there is.
If we are traitors, then so be it. But it is not our fault. We are merely trying our best to survive in this country where, if our faces and names aren’t “American”, then at least one of our languages is.